Steel Wheels Singing
by lilyjack00
Summary: In the words of the Bruce Springsteen song: "Grab your ticket and your suitcase, thunder's rolling down this track. Well, you don't know where you're going now, but you know you won't be back..."


Steel Wheels Singing

by lilyjack

I think it's inevitable that M/K fanfic writers attempt to pen their own alternate and ultimately more satisfying ending to the series, although I hadn't originally planned on it. This vignette just popped into my head while listening incessantly to Bruce Springsteen's "Land of Hope and Dreams" from the album Wrecking Ball, c2012. I've included some lyrics throughout my story. It's a sweeping, epic, red-blooded American tune to inspire hopeless romantics and Old West aficionados everywhere. Give it a listen if you aren't already addicted to Wrecking Ball.

_Grab your ticket and your suitcase, thunder's rolling down this track  
Well, you don't know where you're going now, but you know you won't be back  
Well, darling, if you're weary, lay your head upon my chest  
We'll take what we can carry, yeah, and we'll leave the rest..._

ljljljljlj

The colorless prairie appeared bleak and dry and deserted, as empty and lonesome as the distraught woman's heart, while it sped endlessly past her window. The striking, middle-aged passenger who sat looking forlornly out at the desolate landscape had to swallow a lump in her throat to keep hot tears from coursing down her pale cheeks. _How had it all come to this_, she wondered despondently. _How_?

She felt nauseous and even panicky as she contemplated everything that she was leaving behind in that dusty old cowtown—dear friends who were like family, a thriving business, and most of all her best friend and tender lover of nearly twenty years. The thought of life without him ripped her insides apart and set her mind awhirl. It was, quite simply, incomprehensible to her. The cadence of the wheels on the steel track beat out a churning rhythm in her head that was ominous and pervasive—"It's over...it's over...it's over..." Each hateful turn took her farther and farther from the man she loved more than life itself, her very soul mate. She absently fingered the cameo he'd given to her, pinned at her breast, close to the beating heart that he held in his big, calloused hand. His ruggedly handsome features haunted her mind, pale blue, hurt eyes narrowing accusingly as she imagined him looking at her, imagined him insistently asking her, _why, honey...why_?

_Well, this train carries saints and sinners  
This train carries losers and winners  
This train carries whores and gamblers  
This train carries lost souls  
_  
Her thoughts were wrenched back to the confines of the train car as she felt the dark, inquisitive gaze of the fancy-dressed gambler across the aisle scrutinizing her again. His neatly combed hair, gray streaking the temples and peppering his closely-trimmed beard and mustache, gave him a distinguished appearance, and she could tell his clothes were well-tailored and expensive. She'd quickly but politely brushed off his attempts at conversation when they'd boarded. He'd tipped his hat most respectfully and appraised her with obvious interest, telling her he was heading for Colorado. _And_ _where might she be headed, if she didn't mind him asking?_ _To join her husband_, she'd lied. Truthfully, she had no idea where she was going. _West... Away... Far away...leaving behind all her hopes and dreams. _

She wished he'd transfer his attentions to the peroxide blonde working girl who sat only a couple of rows up. There was no mistaking what the young lady did for a living, leastways not by someone who'd been forced to do the same many years ago. Her clothes and hairstyle were a little too fancy for a lone female riding the rails in this part of the country. The girl wore paint and she had a lean, hungry look about her. She could tell the girl had mended her one nice traveling dress on the shoulder, and she'd done it herself and not very skillfully. The stitches were uneven and the color of the thread didn't quite match. She carried her few belongings in a worn carpetbag which she kept vigilantly by her side, probably everything she owned in this cruel world. The young lady was sure interested in the gambling man, as she kept giving backward glances his way. When would he take the hint and go and talk with the eager soiled dove instead of holding out for a change of heart from Kitty Russell?

She started at a cry from behind her, then relaxed when she realized it was only a small babe in its mother's arms. The young woman patted his back and tried to soothe him, but the antsy toddler who sat by her side also demanded her attention when she decided to clamber out of her seat and mischievously scamper down the aisle past Kitty. Kitty captured the curly mop-topped little escape artist before she could make it far and wrangled her back to her mother, an astonished look on the child's face at the strange lady with the fiery red hair who now held her prisoner.

"Thank you, ma'am!" the mother exclaimed as she tried to take the fidgety little girl into her lap, except there wasn't enough room to accommodate both children comfortably.

"May I?" Kitty asked softly, reservedly. "I can hold your baby for a while so you can tend to your little girl. I think she might need some attention."

"Would you mind?" A grateful look washed over the weary young mother's features. "Are you sure it's no bother?"

"No bother a'tall," Kitty smiled as she pulled the small, warm bundle of life into her arms and against her breast as she settled back into her seat, until it made her heart ache so badly she thought she'd cry right then and there in front of everybody. But instead she swallowed the bittersweet tears back and touched a finger to the baby boy's pink cheek, the skin so soft and smooth and new like a promise. He opened his dark blue eyes and gazed at her hard, waving his tiny fists and working his rosebud mouth like he wanted to talk to her something fierce.

"His name's Charlie." The mother answered her unasked question as Kitty looked wonderingly into his earnest expression, her chest swelling with terrible emotion as she was wishing and wanting and needing so badly to weep away her sorrows...

"What in heaven's name...? The wavering voice of an old woman came from the back of the passenger car.

Her young grandson exclaimed excitedly, "I bet we're gonna be robbed!"

The elderly woman scolded, "Thomas, don't say such a thing!" as the other passengers craned their necks to peer out the windows in the direction of the rear of the train.

"I bet he's a train robber, don't you think, Mister?" Thomas questioned the shabbily-dressed man in front of him.

From the looks of his threadbare clothing, the passenger wouldn't have too much to worry about if the train were robbed as he probably didn't have much to lose. Peering outside with narrowed eyes, he answered the boy, "I don't know, son. But there's only one of 'em. I wouldn't think one man would try and rob a whole train by himself..."

_One man_. Kitty pressed the baby closer to her wildly beating heart as she looked out at the unexpected sight that greeted her. A big man on a big horse, thundering across the prairie in dogged pursuit of the train she was riding. "That's no train robber," she breathed against the glass, her heart in her throat as she watched the horse's hooves pounding up prairie dust, mane and tail flying wildly in the wind as he came abreast of the caboose. The rider grasped his reins in one hand and reached for the handhold on the car with the other.

"No..." she mouthed. _Dammit, Matt Dillon, you're not a young buck anymore. What in heaven's name are you thinking?!_

She and everyone on the train car gasped in unison as they watched the handhold slip from his reach. But the determined lawman spurred the lathered buckskin on harder and Kitty watched with a mixture of both terror and pride as her man steeled his features, reaching once more to grab at the handle. He made a desperate dive, clinging to the car as the horse veered away from his owner and onto the empty prairie. Kitty's hand flew to her mouth and she cried aloud as she watched Matt's feet dangling precariously.

The boy Thomas shouted what she was afraid to voice, "He'll be killed!"

But Matt Dillon, never a man to give up, gritted his teeth and inched his body higher and higher, until his feet managed to scramble onto the stair step and he was at last able to climb aboard, gasping for breath.

Kitty sank back against her seat, trembling and weak with relief, unable to move. Everyone on the car was talking excitedly at the daring exploits they'd just witnessed. Kitty could only attempt to gather her wits about her at the recent development of events, the small baby Charlie quietly fussing in her arms.

Within moments, there was a rush of air from behind as the train car door opened and sudden silence fell over the curious passengers. Booted footsteps, with a slight limp, made their way down the aisle, only to stop directly at her shoulder. She remained facing forward, listening to Matt's still-labored breathing as he grunted at her, "Kitty Russell, I'm gettin' too damn old for this."

The young mother stared wide-eyed and somewhat slack-jawed at the lawman as she reached over Kitty's shoulder and quickly whispered, "I'll take little Charlie now..."

Matt doffed his hat to the woman and offered, "Thank you, ma'am," then unceremoniously grabbing Kitty's hand, he pulled her hurriedly down the aisle and through the back door of the car onto the jolting platform. She backed against the wall of the car for support as Matt Dillon placed a hand on the wall above her shoulder to steady himself, tipping his hat back with one finger and looking intently into her face. "You care to tell me what this is all about?"

She swallowed hard, never having planned on giving parting explanations, so now she was at a loss for words. "Not really..."

"Not really? What kinda' answer is that? You up and leave town with no explanations? You leave secret instructions with Floyd to ship your belongings to a destination unknown to even you?" He removed his hat and testily beat the dust off on his pant legs. "I had to do some pretty fast talkin' to get that information outta him, I might add. And if it weren't for Festus spotting you at the train station, I never woulda even known you were gone to begin with, until it was too late! "

She couldn't bear to look him in the eye. "Matt..." But her voice trailed off and halted. _What could she say? _

He blew out a breath. "What the heck is goin' on, Kitty? Why are you leaving me?" Raking his fingers through his hair in frustration, he tipped her chin up with a finger and forced her to look at him. "Why?"

Her heart pounded in her chest as she took a deep breath and blurted out, "I'm pregnant."

Matt's hands dropped loosely to his sides and he looked at her blankly. "What?" he breathed.

She stared down as she wrung her hands tightly, the words tumbling out, "I've always been so careful, Matt... _We've_ always been so careful! And I know you don't want children. I know you don't need the responsibility of a family. You've always told me that. That's one of the reasons why you didn't want to get married. I knew that, but it happened anyway!" She still couldn't look into his eyes. She picked at a manicured nail until it bled as the words bubbled forth. "But I want this baby, Matt. I want it so bad!"

Both her hands slid down to her belly, swollen just the tiniest bit, so little he hadn't even noticed until now. He slowly placed his big, calloused hand atop hers and held it there, not letting go.

She urgently finished, "I want it more than I've ever wanted anything, Matt..." She finished with a whisper, "...except for you." She finally looked up into his suntanned face, the lines around his eyes crinkling as he watched her silently. "I want this baby, Matt, and I knew you didn't. I didn't know what to do. I just felt I had to leave. Go somewhere we wouldn't be a bother to you."

"A bother to me?" he murmured incredulously as he dropped his weathered old hat back onto his head.

"Well, you always told me..."

"But, honey, I love you. You know that."

"Yes, I do know that, but..."

"No 'but's', sweetheart. I can't believe you were going to leave me without a word..." His voice broke and he rubbed a hand wearily over his face. Then he took a deep breath and added gruffly, "You're carrying our child!"

"Do you know how good it feels to hear you say that, Matthew Dillon? 'Our child?'" She toyed with a button on his shirt front, whispering, "I can't believe it's happened after all these years. I didn't even think it was still possible."

Matt sighed, wrapping his long arms around her waist and pulling her body close. Kitty laid her head on his chest, listening to his beating heart, cherishing the warmth of him so close to her, a warmth she thought she'd never feel again. She inhaled deeply the smell he always carried with him, of leather and horses and gun oil and sweat and something that was purely male and purely Matt Dillon. It stirred her emotions beyond words to be near him, to touch him once more.

She choked back a sob and Matt squeezed her tightly, but not too tightly, thinking of the babe that grew in her belly. "What's the matter, honey?" he asked softly, gently, rubbing her back, trying to caress away her sorrows.

"What do you mean, 'what's the matter'?" She took a hiccupping breath. "I've gone and ruined everything."

"You've gone and ruined everything? Last time I checked it took two to make a baby..." He leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

"Yeah, but..."

"There you go again with the 'but's', Kitty Russell." His deep voice rumbled in his chest, into her ear and clear down into her belly where she wondered if her baby..._their_ baby...could hear it. The thought pleased her immensely and she gave a little shiver.

Matt wrapped a silken red curl around his index finger, stroking it absently with his thumb as they stood silently, gently swaying with the rhythm of the steel wheels beneath them. Then he pressed her closer, his hand at the small of her back, and stated resolutely, "I'm goin' with you." His voice was so low and quiet and thoughtful, she wasn't sure she'd heard him right.

She gazed up at him through unshed tears. "What did you say?"

"I said, I'm goin' with you. I don't care where we go, as long as we're together."

"But, Matt..." She looked at him incredulously. "Are you sure?"

"Kitty, I told you earlier, I'm gettin' old. Maybe it's about damn time I settled down. When I found out you'd up and left, all I knew was that I wanna be with you. " He traced a finger down her cheek. "No matter what."

She released a shuddering breath and slid her arms up his broad chest and around his neck. "No matter what...huh, Cowboy?" She smiled knowingly as she gave a little sniffle. "I bet ya' didn't plan on a baby bein' in the picture."

"Well, Kitty, you got me there. No, I didn't. But I meant what I said. Nothing matters to me as much as us being together. And I think we might make pretty good parents, after all, don't you?"

Tears finally escaped her brimming eyes as she laughingly said, "It took you an awful long time to figure that out."

Chagrined, he muttered, "I guess I'm a slow learner, honey."

"Didn't you ever hear 'slow and steady wins the race'?" She wiped away the tears with the back of her hand and playfully demanded, "Kiss me, Cowboy."

As Matt Dillon's head bent low and his warm, eager lips enveloped hers, she suddenly became aware that the train wheels had changed their song. Now she distinctly heard their rhythm endlessly repeat, "At last...At last...At last..." as she melted into her cowboy's strong arms, surrendering to his tender, loving embrace.

End

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_I will provide for you and I'll stand by your side  
You'll need a good companion now for this part of the ride  
Yeah, leave behind your sorrows, let this day be the last  
Well, tomorrow there'll be sunshine and all this darkness past_

_I said, now this train, dreams will not be thwarted  
This train, faith will be rewarded  
This train, the steel wheels singing  
This train, bells of freedom ringing_

Well, big wheels roll through fields where sunlight streams  
Oh, meet me in a land of hope and dreams

"_Land of Hope and Dreams", Bruce Springsteen, __Wrecking Ball,__ c2012  
_


End file.
